He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
