a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize