don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
