Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
PANTIES FOUND
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