I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
