My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
