how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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