hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Welp...herpes.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
