i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Green mimosas i think yes
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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