My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize