i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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