so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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