His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
