I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Mom said you looked used
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
