cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
