I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
