I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
