I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize