oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
