hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
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while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
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P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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