I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
