i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
