no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
