apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
