frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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