I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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