i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize