I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
