Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
