Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
