went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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