3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
