I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
