don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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