I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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