o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
