girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
