weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
