so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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