I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
