she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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