i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
