If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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