If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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