What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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