Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
