just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
