I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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