well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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