I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
