my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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