Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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