can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
