Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
