I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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